My most ambitious clients bemoan the underperformers on their team. They resent teammates who don’t seem to get it or don’t seem to care.
But it turns out that most teammates are doing the best they can. Few show up with the intent to inhibit your goals.
So how do you help an underperformer pick it up or decide this isn’t for them and move on?
“YOU CAN ATTACK OR YOU CAN HELP”
- Dr. Laura Crawshaw, The Boss Whisperer
STRATEGY #1 is to ATTACK an underperformer who is threatening your agenda. It’s easy to become aggressive, sarcastic, or critical, hoping they'll pick up what we're putting down!
But this often causes the underperformer to report your aggressive behavior to HR and other team members, and it doesn't lead to any change in their underperformance.
STRATEGY #2 is to HELP. Accept that the underperformer isn't showing up to ruin your life.
The underperformer must have a lot going on in their own world that is preventing them from showing up in the way you'd prefer.
The ATTACK strategy hypothesizes that "this idiot doesn't care."
The HELP mindset lets you get curious about what might be going on for them.
Once you get past your (healthy self-protective) anger towards an underperformer, you can catch your breath and try HELPING.
Helping sounds like:
I want you to succeed here.
Are you aware you are missing deadlines, not coming to the office, and making a lot of careless errors? Often humans are unaware of their self-destructive behaviors. You help by bringing negative behaviors to their awareness without assuming they acted with malicious intent. N.B., if they try to debate/deny, you say: While I hear your perspective, I am telling you that you're not performing at the level we want and I'm here to help you think about what it will take to bridge the gap.
How can I HELP you get from where you are to where we need you to be? What's preventing you from performing more consistently? How could we get you more engaged?
When you HELP from a place of curiosity, there is the possibility of co-creating a solution together.
When you ATTACK from a place of frustration, the underperformer will likely react by shutting down or growing ever more distant.
As a manager, YOU HAVE A DUTY TO HELP your underlings either perform or get clarity on why they don't want to be in the job and leave.
Attacking drains you and has little probability of improving the situation.
Helping with curiosity takes the load off you and helps the underperformer map a way to performing, or deciding to leave, so someone else with ambition and buy-in can take their spot.
Additional Reading
Taming The Abrasive Manager: How To End Unnecessary Roughness In The Workplace, by Dr. Laura Crawshaw, Ph.D.
Coaching Abrasive Executives: Exploring The Use Of Empathy In Constructing Less Destructive Interpersonal Management Strategies, by Dr. Laura Crawshaw, Ph.D.
Emotional Intelligence, by Dr. Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer.
Permission To Feel, by Dr. Marc Brackett, Ph.D.; Director, Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.
The Wisdom Of The Enneagram, by Don Riso and Russ Hudson.
Energy Leadership: Transforming Your Workplace and Your Life from the Core, by Bruce Schneider.
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